Sexual abuse or assault can have significant impacts on your sexuality, which can vary widely, depending on what was done to you and how you were groomed by the offender. You might not be able to tolerate any sexual feelings or moves from others, or you might have been prematurely sexualised with pornography so that now what you find erotic is not what you would have if you’d been left to develop in your own way. You might feel deeply ashamed of any sexual arousal you feel because you have come to feel that all sex is bad, you might feel that you only have value to others if you give them sex, or you might never experience arousal.
Whichever way this experience has impacted you, you have the right to reclaim your sexuality for yourself. Sex can be a good part of life, bringing you pleasure and feeding the intimacy of a relationship. Some people are able to reclaim their sexual self with the support of a patient, gentle partner, while many others need professional help. A counsellor who is a specialist in working with the impacts of sexual abuse or assault can assist you on this journey. If you are currently in an intimate relationship, it can seem difficult to give your sexual self the respect it needs as you balance the needs of your partner, your relationship, and your self. A counsellor can help you sort through this.
One of the most difficult sexual impacts to deal with is the desire or the feeling of compulsion to act out what was sexually done to you onto somebody else. If this is the case for you, please call us to get help.